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i sound like buddhist [Jan. 19th, 2007|01:11 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Location |my cube, 55th and 6th]
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]

I'm probably not supposed to be doing this at work. Oh well. I'm experiencing the post-lunch blood sugar crash; I've already looked through my favorite blogs (celebrity and otherwise); what else is there to do?

I potentially want to start updating again, but if I did this on a regular basis I'd probably want it to be about my running/basketball/jock life. I've been running about 40 miles a week for the past few months in preparation for the OBX marathon on November 11. Yes, I am actually going to run 26.2 miles in a few short months. Part of me thinks it's going to be easy (relatively). I can run 10 miles easily right now, so what's to stop me from running 20? And if I run 20, I can certainly run another 6.2. But another part of me thinks I'm going to spend the last few hours of the race crying and praying to god that my legs don't fall off (which would be great too--when it comes to physical activity, I'm a masochist through and through). Only a few people in my life really know how serious I am about this and the time and effort I've been putting into it. This is a big deal to me. Running has been changing me in a very profound way, and I am so determined and committed and excited to prove to myself that I can actually do something that a) only an elite group of human beings can do and b) that our bodies are capable of doing, but only if we train them long enough and hard enough to do it. When I first started running it was always about losing weight--I didn't even really know what that meant, just that I'd probably (maybe) be happier if I was skinnier. Now running has been about rejoicing in my body. Pushing every inch of my body as far as it will possibly go. Seeing what, exactly, I'm made of. I run every day with ridiculous emotional thoughts like these in my brain--they're what keep me going when I know I could just as easily stop and nobody would know or care but me--and I've been feeling like I'd like to write them down. Even though this has been really awkward and weird for me to write about, especially because I haven't written in this seriously in so so long.

Tonight after work I'm planning on running 6 miles, lifting leg weights, and then we're going on a double date with Jake and Elizabeth. Tomorrow I'm going to get up early to play basketball (more on that to come later) and in the evening Steele, Rachel, and I are going to watch the New York Titans at MSG (they're the new box lacrosse team).

Life has been pretty fantastic, except for the fact that I hate my job and I owe $129,000 in student loans. But it's okay, because my job won't be forever--I can quit and do something else ANY TIME I WANT TO. Isn't that amazing to consider? No one can or will tell me what to do--it's up to me to decide when to start looking around for another job and what that other job will actually be. (because it's a fact I can't do this for the rest of my life, or for two more years even). I CAN DO WHATEVER! I run and then I waste eight hours at work and then I live my life and then I run some more. For right now I can survive this way...because apparently this marathon is making me zen? But when I'm out of work, everything is grand.

And Steele and I are having a renaissance.
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(no subject) [Oct. 23rd, 2006|01:00 pm]
[Current Location |work]
[mood |boredbored]

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be.

1. Who was your best friend?
Ania, Erika, Erikka, Joanna, Brynne, Laura Urbanski

2.What sports did you play??
Basketball and softball...with my poor repaired ACL and a giant brace :(

NONE!!!!! My mom always drove me to school on her way to work, but sometimes I was lucky enough to use one of my parents' cars

4. It's Friday night, where were you?
Turns out, I have an awful memory. I think probably either at Ania's, or seeing a movie, or driving around in somebody's car. Yeah, life was kind of boring, the way I remember it...

5. Were you a party animal?
Less in my senior year than in other years of high school...sopho year was my baddest year, but junior year i did get suspended from school for six weeks...

6. Were you considered a flirt?:
I went to an all-girls school, so no. Unless flirting with all the amazing male teachers I had counts.

7. Ever skip school?
My mom let me stay home from school to finish papers if I didn't get them done on time.

8. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Yup, for six miserable weeks, for a bullshit reason, and I'm still bitter about it. Needless to say, I came back and got 5s on all my AP exams AND straight As and all my teachers and all the assholes who wanted me expelled were just SHOCKED and I loved every minute of it

9. Can you sing the fight song?
we didn't have one--like I said, it was an all-girls school with no football team. But we did have a lot of school spirit. I did too, especially during basketball season.

10. Who was your favorite teacher?
Mr. Connolly. I still love him. He was on Jeopardy.

11. Favorite class?:
AP Euro, AP Lit, Japanese history

12. What was your school's full name?:
The Agnes Irwin School

13. School mascot?
an owl--lame, I know. But we really took advantage of that, and the all-girls thing, by calling ourselves the Hooters and getting our team name announced as "the Hooters" at away games and wearing team sports bras that said HOOTERS on them

14. Did you go to Prom?
Neither--junior, I wasn't allowed to go as a part of my suspension, and senior I just didn't feel like it. I wish i did now though--someday Steelie baby and I will go to a fake prom, or at least the Plague Ball

15. If you could go back and do it over, would you?

16. What do you remember most about graduation?
The anti-climax

17. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
I can't remember...there were tons, though

18. Where were you on senior skip day?
we didn't have one?

19. Did you have a job your senior year?
In the summer, Circuit City

20. Where did you go most often for lunch?
the caf, the senior lounge and the round tables--or we went out to peace a pizza

21. What did you do after graduation?
that night? I think went to dinner in Philly with Ania, Mica, Dari, Laura Urbs, Brynne (?), etc

22. When did you graduate?

23. Who was your Senior homecoming date?
no homecoming

24. Are you going to your ten year reunion?
yes, probably. But only if I am skinny.

25. Who was your home room teacher?
Seniors all had the same homeroom (there were only 47 of us) and Mr Frank was our guy

26. Who will repost this after you?
no one. i only did this because im at lunch at work and it's too cold to go outside.

27. Who was President of your class?
Jason!! And Julie, when Jason bites the dust, you're on next.

28. Who was your high school sweet heart?
nobody. but then i went to college and met my REAL sweetheart, ya know
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i'm in here [Oct. 12th, 2006|09:32 am]
[mood |draineddrained]

Why is life so hard lately? I'd need pages and pages of wide open space to fully explain my exhaustion/frustration/anger. Why are Cosi sandwiches 700 calories each (no joke). I should just go eat a Big Mac. I don't know why I'm writing in this thing. Probably because it's only 9 AM and I'm going to be stuck in a cube until 5 with no one that I can really talk about this with. I need I want so much
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and if i could swim/i'd swim out to you in the ocean [May. 12th, 2005|02:04 pm]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |say anything, a walk through hell]

So last night I started a book at around 11 and didn't stop reading until 5 AM. The reason why I didn't stop reading until 5 AM is because holy shit, this is the best fiction book that I have read maybe in the past two years, maybe more. The reason why I forced myself to stop reading at 5 AM is because I don't want this book to end, it's so good that I'm scared to finish it. The book is Extrememely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. His protagonist is a brilliant and funny and easy to love and incredibly hurt 9-yr old kid named Oskar whose dad died in the WTC. To say that the book is a tear-jerker would not only be an incredible understatement but also would not be paying it justice. I feel real physical pain for this kid and I don't think I read one page last night that didn't illicit tears; seriously, I was crying the entire time. It was kinda gross. But the book isn't melodramatic AT ALL and doesn't set out with an agenda to make you cry, Harriet Beecher Stowe-style. The writing is just SO GOOD and this kid's voice in the novel is entirely believable and innocent and it'll make you wish you had a kid like that. Here's one of my favorite paragraphs...

Read more...Collapse )

The other thing is, Oskar totally reminds me of Alex, the boy I babysat all of last semester. Even though Oskar is 9 and Alex is 7, they are both smart and perceptive and really easily hurt. Man, it makes me sad to think that kids can feel pain like that. It makes me wish that I had the power to just erase hurt entirely from the world for the people that I love, even though I know I can't do that, and anyway we need stuff like that to make us stronger. This book is also reminding me why I know in my heart that I'm going to write novels for a living eventually someday. Or why I'm going to teach literature. BECAUSE I LOVE IT! And I'm passionate about it, and I have been for all of my life.

Does anybody else have kick-ass book recommendations?!
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SEMESTER=OFFICIALLY OVER, SAY WHAAAA?! [May. 5th, 2005|01:16 am]
[mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[music |kelly o-papa don't preach]


I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANNNND it's only 1:26 AM and I just got back from printing my paper out at 3N, I finished this bitch in under 9 hours! So tomorrow I hand it in before noon and THEN, oh yes, going shopping with the roomates. And then packing the room up. And then drinking. And then packing some more.


I'm so happy right now. ANNNNND the Pirates won yesterday and then they won today, TAKE THAT CLEMENS!!!

ANNNNNNND there's only 13 more days!!! THAT'S NOTHIN'!!!!

I am so hyper right now!

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getting closer... [May. 4th, 2005|01:02 pm]
spanish essay-done
creative writing portfolio-done
waterman paper-done
waterman exam-done
t.s. eliot in-class final-done
t.s. eliot take-home final-done
spanish exam-today at 2
t.s. eliot research paper-will be written alllll night tonight

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(no subject) [May. 3rd, 2005|01:48 pm]
i am more than stressed out.

i dont think im going to get everything done, and i am absolutely panicking, my heart is panicking and i feel like i might have a heart attack.

this is the worst feeling in the world.

and i had a random bad medical issue so i went to the doctor yesterday and apparently my body is bleeding internally due to stress.


the time between now and thursday at noon is just going to hurt.

i just want this semester to be over.

i will probably delete this entry on thursday when i feel a world of relief.
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miles of air and road and land/separate me from all my plans [Apr. 25th, 2005|11:07 pm]
[mood |hopefulhopeful]
[music |the format--let's make this moment a crime]

Ok. Game plan for the rest of the semester=focus. I feel soo focused right now. The work and papers and tests that I have before May 5th are slowly working their way into a schedule that I know I can manage. Wednesday is part one of my T.S. Eliot exam (just on The Four Quartets), next Monday is my American Romanticism paper and Creative Writing portfolio, next Wednesday is my Spanish exam and American Romanticism exam, next Thursday is my T.S. Eliot research paper and part two of my T.S. Eliot exam...and then I'm DONE. Well, there's also a Spanish quiz and Spanish essay thrown in there as well, but they're a lot easier than the other stuff. So, ok, that's manageable, right? 11 days before I go home, 23 days before I go to Pittsburgh, and one week left of classes. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...

I've been giving myself mini pep-talks like this every day for the past week.

I know EVERYBODY just wants the semester to be over, and it's weird, I don't remember myself and everyone I know feeling this way at the end of last year? But, ok, guys, we can do it. And, holy shit, I have my Easter AND two new episodes of the Simpsons to look forward to on Sunday. My mom is even sending me some Easter bread...::drool::

Oooh and the Phils snuck by the Nationals tonight 5-4 to snap their three game losing streak. AND the Pirates won again, shutting out the Astros 2-0 (Perez's first win...alright Oli, 'atta boy!). God I love when both teams win. The Phils are playing the Mets on Monday night at Shea...should I go?!?! (Keeping in mind my exam/paper schedule, of course.) I gotta decide quick...

Now study time!
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open letter [Apr. 25th, 2005|02:49 pm]
[mood |contentcontent]

Dear Lemonade Gatorade,

Wow. You are delicious. You have exceeded my wildest expectations! I can't wait to try your colleague, Raspberry Lemonade Gatorade. Keep up the good work!

Your friend,
Laura Marchesani
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Lollapalooza, etc. [Apr. 22nd, 2005|10:16 pm]
[mood |hyperhyper]
[music |straylight run--dignity and money (jo's choice!)]

Holy majungas!

I was just looking at the Lollapalooza website, and dammit! I wish I lived anywhere NEAR Chicago, because I would go in a heartbeat. Some incredibly kick-ass bands who are playing the show this summer include:

The Killers
Dashboard Confessional
Death Cab for Cutie
Liz Phair
G. Love & Special Sauce (straight outta Philly!)
The Walkmen
Tegan and Sara

and a bunch of other bands that I'm not that into (including the Pixies) but are still awesome. Rock on!

Dammit, the Phils lost to the Braves today 6-2. Come on boys! Lets turn the heat up on those jerks tomorrow. (Braves=my least favorite team in baseball. Them, and the Toronto Blue Jays. It's all resentment I've had since the 1993 World Series!)

Now time to write a short story. This thing has GOTTA get done tonight, so wish me luck!
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